Most of us have been rejected at some point in our lives, like when we were not chosen for a team, dismissed, refused, overlooked, not accepted, not believed, or not taken seriously. Rejection can lead to feelings of being hurt, inferiority, withdrawal, sadness, rage, revenge, bullying, etc. The National Library of Medicine PubMed.gov published an article about functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) studies, which showed that the same areas of the brain become activated when rejection is experienced as when there is physical pain. Neurologically speaking, this is one explanation for the reason why rejection hurts so much.
Tips to cope with rejection:
Countering rejection with personal antidotes is in your self-interest. How you say?
Stay true to your own purpose.
In order to do that, first create or redefine your purpose, and put your purpose above the hurt of rejection.
Muster your inner strength and rekindle your commitment to your purpose.
It may help to write it on paper and keep it close by as a daily reminder to yourself of the important path you are following.
Repeat it daily for a solid month or more so it comes to mind when self-doubt rears its negative head.
Clarify and reinvigorate the integrity of your purpose.
Repeat it to yourself so that validating voice inside becomes louder than the voice still hurting from the rejection.
It also is valuable and comforting to learn tips from the experiences of others.
Read the unique perspective from Larry Jacobson who faced numerous setbacks and had his own way of dealing with hurt and rejection. Visit our Videos page and view the videos from Larry Jacobson,
Consider reading books below, each with valuable perspective on rejection:
Living Inside Out– Identifying and Healing from the Spirit of Rejection, by Michelle Gilbert
Don’t Give the Enemy A Seat at Your Table, by Louie Giglio
Destroying the Spirit of Rejection, by John Eckhardt
Resilience: Facing Down Rejection and Criticism on the Road to Success, by Mark McGuinness
When conducting a job search, the cover letter is placed on top of the resume much like a tablecloth covers a dining table. Regardless of your background, it introduces you as organized, serious about the job, and well spoken. It establishes connection with the reader. It shows you are interested, enthusiastic, and invites further communication. Remember these basic rules.
Don’t copy verbatim what you see in sample resume/cover letter books. Employers have endured their share of cookie cutter letters that sound like they’re straight from the resume guides. Be yourself! Use your own words and style. It’ll be far more interesting and appealing.
Keep it short.
Ensure paper color is professional (whites, beiges, ivory, or muted grey); use quality stock. (4) Omit fancy fonts or cute emojis.
The cover letter should be one page, better yet 3 paragraphs. Address it to an actual person. Look online or call the hiring company and find out a name if you don’t know it. Check spelling to ensure accuracy. Invite the reader to learn more about you and what you can offer by introducing your accomplishments, especially those that align to skills they seek.
The first paragraph shows interest in the position being offered. Sometimes an attention getting one-liner is appropriate if you can think of one. Here’s an example: I spent ten years at Sing Sing Prison…as chief auditor evaluating all accounting policies. After you get the employer’s attention, show you’ve done your homework. Review their website, locations and become familiar with their products/services. If you can’t think of a clever opening line, state you’re interested in the job posting listed in (NAME) newspaper, website, job board on a specific date.
The second paragraph highlights a few accomplishments and embedded skills that “fit” with competencies the employer seeks. An example might look like: “Your job posting states you seek an experienced salesperson with proven customer skills, and knowledge of the retail sports market. Since I have experience as an in-store sales associate and I enjoy the field for future employment, this is a top priority for me.” This paragraph is your chance to discuss value you bring to the job. Tell the employer that you want to do the same for him or her.
Another way to handle paragraph #2 is to make one strong introductory sentence followed by indenting and listing 2-4 accomplishments that would interest an employer. Here’s how that paragraph might appear: With five years’ experience in retail sporting goods, I conducted in-store training with five new hires, selected merchandise, and held key roles in five new store startups. Indent and add two to three statements of accomplishments you’ve achieved. Make sure the first word is an action verb. See examples below.
Selected accomplishments include:
Trained and supervised five sales associates to ensure product knowledge, professional customer relations and attention to detail.
Acknowledged by supervisor for ensuring quality results related to training, promotions and sales events.
Developed five sales associates in one year who earned accolades and were promoted to next levels of responsibility.
The third paragraph communicates your availability for further conversation, perhaps a meeting, by phone or online. Enclosed (or attached) is my resume for your review. Here’s an example:
“Since I’m located in the greater Los Angeles area, I can meet you at your convenience. I’ll contact your office within two weeks to arrange a convenient time. If you wish to contact me earlier, I can be reached daily at 555.876.4321 or email abcd@xxx.com. I would enjoy further discussion and the opportunity to meet with you soon.
A reader asked, “How do you find out about a potential job environment if you don’t know anyone who works there?” One suggestion is to arrange a “curiosity conversation,” which is similar to an informational interview. When you speak with someone who knows about an organization you are interested in, here are tips to begin a curiosity conversation about it.
The curiosity conversation is intended to find out whether a certain organization will be a good career fit for you. At this point, you are only seeking information, not asking for a job. This distinction will ensure that the person you are interviewing will open up more candidly.
One of the best ways to learn about an organization is through third-party referrals. Find out if someone in your network knows an employee associated with that organization. Arrange a 15-to 20-minute conversation.
If you don’t know anyone to ask, try one or more of these options:
Research recent articles/podcasts by someone in the organization.
Look up the company online for names to contact.
Scan LinkedIn, Indeed.com, Moodys, Vault.com., or other job boards.
Ask for contacts in circles where you travel, or through organizations you’re involved with.
Attend a local networking group to expand your network.
You may want to conduct a curiosity conversation on the phone or online rather than in person. If you do speak with someone face to face, your level of sincerity is very important. When you interview someone on site, get a sense of how you would enjoy working there. This is a good way to informally learn about the culture, the actual job, and whether it may be a good career fit. Whether you speak with a person onsite or indirectly, ask similar questions about the company.
Use the statements and questions below as a guide for what to ask during a curiosity conversation, and how to launch it.
Please describe a typical day on the job as a (job title).
What are the most important and necessary skills in this department?
What traits are most valued here?
What do the most successful people here accomplish on a regular basis?
What technology is necessary for one to know in this job?
Do employees have the option to work from home?
Is the organization committed to the health and well-being of its staff?
Does the ethos of the company align with my personal values? For example, is the company formal or informal?
Does the company keep employees informed regarding industry news?
Is there an ongoing commitment to education, leadership opportunities, and career development?
What information should I know before an interview? How do I secure that information?
Are you happy working with this company? Do you have any complaints or concerns about it?
If I have more questions in the future, who might I talk with who is as knowledgeable as you are?
Further tips. Establish up front if the person has 15 to 20 minutes to speak with you. Don’t overstay your welcome. When your time limit is approaching, wind down the visit and ask to stay in touch. Thank them; don’t forget to get his or her contact information. Send a brief follow-up thank you note by mail. It is bound to be appreciated.
This topic won’t quit. By 2021, almost half of employees were considering taking new jobs or planning to leave. Have you noticed all the people who are quitting their jobs? Harvard BusinessReview (March, 2022) called it the “Great Resignation” or the “Great Rethink.“
Because of the pandemic, the world is looking at jobs in a new light. Working from home allowed many to rethink what is important to them. For those who don’t depend on the camaraderie and routine of going to the office, working from home and making their own schedule was a godsend. Yoga pants, relaxed schedule, and freedom from the commute was a welcome relief.
When it comes to company ethos and work ethic, employees are asking: Does my company treat employees fairly? Does it give back to the community? Does it care about professional development on the job? Does it keep the workforce informed about company and industry trends? Employees today want to work at a job that is meaningful to them.
If you are dissatisfied at your job, what should you do? The simple answer is to rely on what you know to rethink your future.
Here are three tips to reevaluate your work situation:
Can your sense of purpose be met at your job? Do you feel respected and fulfilled? If your co-workers, supervisor, company culture align with your purpose, it’s a good career fit. Otherwise, it may be time to look elsewhere.
Realign your job parameters with your boss to carve new niches for yourself. Explore new ways to realign your duties internally with special projects, lateral move, downward to a department where you enjoyed the work, rotational assignments, others.
Expand your skill sets to bring enhanced value to the organization or launch new initiatives that are needed such as a newsletter, community outreach, internal mentoring or special interest groups.
The bottom line is don’t feel stuck at your job. There is plenty of movement to explore with a dose of courage and imagination.
According to Harvard Business Review writer, Ian Cook, there has been a global tidal wave of over 67 million resignations in the US, across US industries, which has continued from 2020 into 2022.
Those who tend to resign are experienced, mid-level professionals, with training, up-to-date skill sets or younger workers chomping at the bit for more development and experience. Many have been working from home since the pandemic which has provided greater time and freedom to explore options. The pandemic also presented uneasiness and intensified workloads for them, factors that exacerbated their impulse to leave their jobs. The health care industry, for example, saw a 3.6% hike in resignations; the tech field saw a 4.5% rise. Other fields drastically impacted have been hospitality, travel, tourism, service industries and transportation.
As a result, unprecedented dissatisfaction has blighted industries on all levels. The antidote, according to the press, is what is called The Great Retention. Companies must become more proactive to engage and reach out to their workforce with ongoing conversation and involve them in everyday running of the enterprise. What has contributed to this need? Low wages, meager overtime policies, schedule inflexibility, personality conflicts, bland or negative company culture, bullying executives, limited opportunities for promotion, lack of adequate training, lack of environmental, health and safety precautions, lack of contact with remote supervisors.
How to combat this problem? Here are some ideas to begin:
To create the sense of belonging, ask employees what would make them feel more engaged and aligned with the organization. Follow up and implement some of their ideas.
Embed community projects into the company mission so that employees readily see that you are taking action to ensure their well-being and that of your community.
Launch creative department lunches during which the group can work out a glitch or streamline a process.
Host a Zoom meeting for professional development where everyone participates and gains new skills.
Reach out to the local Chamber of Commerce to engage the community in a social action project.
Launch an employee sports team or lunchtime walking group.
With this beginning, continue the conversation and carry out your own ideas and those of your employees. You’ll both be glad you did.
The workplace has altered in the past two years as never experienced in the recent decades. Applying for a job is more impersonal than ever before. For example, applications now follow an Applicant Tracking System (ATS) and even many job interviews are conducted remotely using Zoom technology, some with no one there so questions appear but it feels like you are replying in a vacuum with no feedback. Paychecks are automated, and these days, engagement among co-workers has diminished due to technology such as text messaging and email. Moreover, it is difficult to reach anyone for follow up information. To add to the impersonality of job sites, meetings are often conducted via Zoom, and an applicant must be social-media savvy because organizations search for staff on LinkedIn, Indeed.com and other digital outlets. Result: even computer-literate candidates must keep their profiles and skills updated and accessible.
The demands of employees also are changing. For example, some workers now have remote opportunities to work from home, keep flexible hours, and delegate some of the workload to younger or part-time staff. Once they secure those demands, they tend to stay when they are chosen for special company projects, are able to mentor younger workers, curate relationships with customers, contribute new strategies, help plan special programs, consult with retiring staff, and support staff members with high potential.
Moreover, most people now want to work at a place where they aren’t pigeonholed, where they are treated with respect and dignity, and where they experience diversity, equity, inclusion (DEI) and a genuine sense of belonging. Younger workers, in addition, want to work around experts, get training for professional development, grow, be part of a team, have their voice heard, and experience variety in an upbeat environment.
Speaking of younger workers—the cohort of 20 to 40 year olds—many are quitting their jobs in a phenomenon known as The Great Resignation. These workers are rebelling against the impersonality of the workplace, the negative relationship or lack of relationship between manager and staff. If you are one of these justified malcontents, you can find a broader community of like-minded job networkers through public gatherings such as local job search networks, career/job fairs (check your library, chamber of commerce, outplacement firms, local Dept. of Labor, for starters). Search online for Ted Talks, get familiar with LinkedIn to expand your networks, and learn through articles, websites, word of mouth and related books.
ATTRACTING GOOD STAFF
Today, the work world can be characterized as changing at lightning speed. Companies are challenged to find suitable candidates almost entirely through automation, which has replaced the personal touch of yore.
How do companies look at hiring today? They all must keep the future constantly in mind–not only the future of the organization, but the ever-changing speed of technology, needed skill sets, and hard to find personal traits that mesh with internal culture such as positive attitude, comfort with flexibility, desire to learn and customer focus. Hiring authorities must be more inclusive of the demands and desires of their staff (we not me). They must cultivate camaraderie and an inclusive, participatory ethos. There’s a new power dynamic at work. Managers must wake up to the needs of their staff who are not reluctant to resign. They must also listen to younger workers who desire a strong sense of team, working as a community, who insist on an organization’s active role to enhance well-being both internally and in the broader community.
This new work energy consists of strong leadership where all voices are respected, work and personal values align, morale is high, Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) are respected, while attention also embraces greater social good in the community. When these facets work together, all involved feel that they are working for a purpose greater than themselves. When that environment is achieved, great results abound and a high performing team is born.
In the latter half of 2021, 45% of full-time employees continued to work from home while 20% worked at home part-time (Gallup 2022). Two thirds (67%) of employees who held white-collar jobs worked at home exclusively. Remote working continues to grow allowing workers to live their purposeful lifestyle involving home, family, child and elder care, activities, leisure, responsibilities, wellness, and educational pursuits. Working from home is less prevalent among those professions that demand on-site presence, such as education, hospitality and health care industries.
In Gallup’s State of the Workplace study (May/June 2021), 9,000 employees shared their reasons to work both from home and the office in a hybrid arrangement, part-time at home and part time at the office:
37% like working from home
54% prefer a hybrid work arrangement at home and office
9% want to return full-time to the office
Many find that their productivity increases when working from home
Working from home provides flexibility in time and domestic chores
Working from home provides a better balance of personal and professional obligations
All indications imply that hybrid work is here to stay. The Gallup study concludes that working remotely will remain. Of workers, 91% prefer the hybrid work environment of some time at home, and some time at work.
Workers identified their reasons for where to work based on lack of commuting, improvement of well-being, flexibility, and fewer distractions. Those who preferred a hybrid work schedule or full-time at the office mentioned their gratitude for camaraderie, preference for a schedule, interpersonal exchanges, in-house collaboration, face-to-face meetings and access to technology, supplies and resources.
Will employees leave a company if they can’t work remotely? When employees were asked that question, 31% said yes.
The new normal in the workplace shows that people have grown accustomed to working from home, commuting less, enjoying more freedom and increased personal well-being with time to focus on several life areas. Leaders and managers are realizing the value of this work option to the majority of their workforce and learning to keep the remote work option alive and well.
So where do you end up on this work at home, hybrid, or work at the office question? Email us to continue the conversation at Joyce@myfuturepurpose.com or vicki@myfuturepurpose.com. We look forward to continuing the dialogue and hearing your thoughts.
So many facets of our lives have been impacted in this ever-changing world in which we live. Commodities are being purchased online more now than ever before. Technology continues to dominate the way we meet with new possibilities from Zoom, Teams and other platforms. The hospitality industry like hotels, restaurants, convention centers operate differently than two years ago. Businesses have had to revise where people work, alternate ways to stay solvent with interrupted supply chains, how to conduct business remotely and how to serve customers as seamlessly as possible. The educational field at all levels continues to grapple with new ways to learn and to make necessary adjustments for the safety of students, educators, staff, families.
Preparing for the future means looking at our habits and lives anew, and making accommodations for inevitable change. More than ever, we must “go with the flow” and no longer can we depend on expectations that were taken for granted in the past. There were certain perks that came with working in many industries such as 401K programs for employee savings and investment, guaranteed vacation time, access to company sponsored amenities such as paid health care, wellness programs, parking lot shuttle service, discounted gym membership, and retirement benefits.
In recent years, more responsibility is placed squarely on the shoulders of guess who..YOU!
So how does one move forward when the only thing you can count on is YOURSELF and you’re not sure what to do or where to turn?
Ask yourself “What matters most to me?” Once you compile that list which may include family members, friends, pets, staying where I currently reside, maintaining my current lifestyle, build from there. Look at a month of your life and determine how much will it cost for you to maintain the lifestyle to which you are accustomed. This basic budget will provide the first clue about the realistic answer to how you should proceed.
If I’m in a certain career field, should I continue there? Will jobs like the one I had be available to me down the line? On the other hand, should I change jobs to be more aligned to my interests?
Or, if my job is likely to disappear for unforeseen, varied reasons, should I jump ship now?
Conventional wisdom advises to never leave a job until you have another one lined up. With that in mind, another option is to keep your job now, and at the same time, think ahead to future possibilities. When it comes to the safety of your current job, look for clues that could be all around you.
Ask yourself if any of these concerns are true where you work: You feel or hear:
Rumors about a merger, acquisition, downsizing or relocation
Concerns about the financial stability of the company
Hall talk about potential furloughs, layoffs
News of potential offers to encourage relocation or retirement
That certain meetings/projects are held and you aren’t invited
Evaluations/reviews are less personal and more critical
Shortcomings are pointed out now
Social events are less frequent
Peers and managers are avoiding you
Others with less skill are getting promoted
Your questions go unanswered
If you notice any or some of the above, continue providing professionalism and value on the job and simultaneously be true to yourself. It may be your fears aren’t reality. Just in case, be ready for a career pivot by following these three steps.
Ask yourself What areas interest you that align with your values? Give yourself a specific timeline to create an answer (an hour, one day, max three days). Write it down; adhere to your deadline. Otherwise, procrastination may reign. When your contemplation period ends (or before), write your goal/ completion date so you readily see what you want to make happen and by when.Example: I don’t want to work for anyone or have a boss in my future. I’d like to explore transferring my skills in education/facilitation/subject matter expertise to a purpose-driven entrepreneurial option by the end of the calendar year.
List steps to make that happen. Example:
Make a comprehensive list of value you bring to next opportunities. Educational preparation, subject matter expertise, certifications, training, business experience. published work, experience with different generations in the workplace, acquaintances who work in those fields.Note weak areas. Identify concrete ways to strengthen shortcomings (Ex. Take a course, join/attend Toastmasters meetings, write a blog).Launch a plan to work on areas to improve (include target dates)Connect with individuals who work in the field; seek advice to getting started; tips they suggest; what to read; how to prepare; social media do’s and don’ts, who to follow online, blogs to reach, people to meet.List and contact community resources who can help: reference librarian, local networking groups, Chamber of Commerce, SCORE, Dept. of LaborExpand your network; offer your services to speak at monthly meetings
Create a prioritized flexible, robust, action plan to reach your goal. Example:
Keep my current job; use discretionary time to explore a new career (weekly devote 5 research hours)Take a course to bolster weak points. Explore institutions; enroll ASAPGet certification(s), training, upgrade skills where needed,Read daily to expand expertise and stories from the fieldWrite a weekly or monthly blogConduct ongoing interviews to gather information from successful individuals in the fieldAttend local events, national forums/symposiums to learn, network, extend your reach (attend one local event a month; three national conferences a year (virtual).Build and expand your personal brand so people know the current “you”
This three-prong strategy takes dedication and regular attention to your goal. If adhered to diligently, the rewards are beyond worthwhile. You’ll be living your purpose and enjoying peace of mind. Get started and make your list…what truly interests you
Cynthia Roy, for the past 20 years, has served as President and CEO in hospice and palliative care, a service for patients diagnosed with a life-limiting illness of six months or less. She has been in that leadership position with Regional Hospice in Danbury, Connecticut, which she joined in 2007 as President and CEO. Cynthia has grown the once small organization into an industry leader, serving terminal patients of all ages.
Over a decade ago, Cynthia began the most challenging and rewarding phase of her career, assisting with the reinvention of hospice regulations in Connecticut. Changes she fought for are outlined below:
…Require a hospice residence to provide a home-like atmosphere for patients for an appropriate amount of time.
…Cooperate with the Department of Public Health Commissioner to develop licensure and operational standards.
…Implement a new category for inpatient hospital facilities called “hospice facility.”
…Create and sanction new facilities under regulations based on Medicare’s minimum regulatory requirements for inpatient hospital facilities (42 CFR § 418. 110).
…Update specified technical changes.
They were finally made law by Governor Dannel Malloy and implemented in 2012.
In 2013, Ms. Roy was appointed to the Palliative Care Advisory Council by the Connecticut Speaker of the House.
In 2015, her dream of building a specialized 36,000-square-foot, residential style facility, dedicated to the comfort and dignity of patients and their families, came to fruition. The Regional Hospice’s Center for Comfort Care and Healing was the first and only not-for-profit, all-private suite hospice in Connecticut. Over the past decade, Regional Hospice has grown from that small organization to an $18 million corporation.
As Cynthia says, “When I embarked on this path, I had no idea how much I would learn from our collective experience. With so many lessons learned along the way from patients and their families, colleagues and the public, and so much more to come, we continue to celebrate our operation and forge into the future knowing that at the heart of what we do begins with the vision of excellence in quality and patient care.” www.regionalhospicect.org
Cynthia completed her clinical training at St. Vincent’s Psychiatric Hospital, Columbia University. While at Columbia, she also worked with the United Nations NGO, International Committee on Aging and with the New York City Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association and Buoniconti Fund, the fundraising arm of the Miami Project to Cure Paralysis.
Hello, Xers! You guys were latch-key kids, born between 1965 and 1980, and comprise the smallest of all generational cohort groups. You are self-reliant, independent, flexible, adaptable, and want to work to live, not live to work. You don’t want empty praise – you want genuine respect for the value you contribute.
Often you are the children of divorced parents, mothers who had returned to the workplace, single-parent households; or both of your parents were at work and no one was home to raise you. You learned to fend for yourself and fight your own battles. You came home from school, saw the note to get dinner from the oven, to do your homework, go play and be back by 5:00. And you did.
Now, you are in the workforce and do not want to be told what to do. You do not want a helicopter boss hovering over you and curtailing your independence. If your older boss (boomers and busters) whine, you will walk. You are not interested in repeating what your elders did — work unhappily at the same company for 35+ years.
You want to know that your work matters. You want to be in on the workings of the company, invited to the round tables, be part of decision-making and contributing solutions as equals. But often your job does not permit collaboration and creative input. If you feel skeptical, don’t allow it to become cynical, because that will not effect change. What will improve a work ethos is:
Seeking departments and like-minded coworkers/colleagues with whom you can collaborate
Expressing to the chain of command your needs, wants, and feelings. If you feel your boss is not hearing you, ask for a formal meeting with her/him. Once you have the ear of the higher-ups, ensure that they understand your passions, your purpose, the contributions you can and want to make. Prove to them that you are a self-starter. If something goes awry, convince them through the quality of your work that you will adjust and move forward.
Negotiating with your employer to forgive college debt in lieu of a salary raise or bonus.
Using appropriate language. All the different generations are accustomed to different kinds of language use. It is important to communicate in an appropriate way, tailored to the generation you are talking or writing to. For example, if you are writing a report that will be read by a boomer, do not use texting symbols or slang, LOL!* Don’t be sloppy, do your homework, be appropriate with whomever you are corresponding with.
Just as you want to be understood, you’ll need to be understanding and compassionate with peers and supervisors. We’re all learning partners together, and each of us has valuable insights to teach and learn. HTH and GL!*
*translation for those of a certain age: LOL=Laughing out loud; HTH=Hope This Helps; GL=good luck.
