Many people experience a range of emotions during birthdays, Sunday family dinners, special holidays, positive, negative, or both. It is not uncommon to swing from anxiety to joy before, during, and/or after celebrations. Company is coming, bringing with them — for you — all the ups and downs of preparation, anticipation, and expectation.  

To make family and friends feel welcome and comfortable, the house must be prepared, of course. In addition, dietary needs must be accommodated, and as a host, have an arsenal of ways to fill the time fruitfully until loved ones leave. Multi generations must be made to feel welcome and entertained. Conflicts may arise. Potential sources are personalities that clash, guests who drink too much, elders who repeat old stories over and over again, bored children, device-addicted teens, lack of enough space, clashing tastes in music, volume, and other unfortunate obstacles. 

As the host, make time before the event to nurture yourself. Enjoy some solitary me-time, giving yourself the best chance to enjoy your company. Once you have the emotional stamina to withstand any little dramas that may occur, your own attitude of welcoming and warmth will quell unpleasantness. 

Here are just a few scenarios that could emerge:

• Uncle Elmer is sitting by himself looking out of place. Go over to him and engage him in conversation about his hobbies, local events, worthy news. Or, send a youngster over who you know also loves birdwatching too. 
• Your two younger sisters are arguing about something. Subtly break it up by smiling and asking one of them to please pass the hors d’oeuvres.
• Scout, your beloved cat, decides to bask in the middle of a serving dish. Time out in a separate part of the house may be necessary, at least during the meal.  
• Cousin Ashley is on her third Gin and Tonic.  She is obviously becoming inebriated and her voice is getting too loud. You might pour a glass of non-alcoholic cider and sweetly offer it to her. If she doesn’t take the hint, just make sure she doesn’t drive home.  

If tricky subjects like politics are problematic, avoid them. Take the advice of Henry Higgins to Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady and stick to topics like “the weather and everyone’s health.”

If you are a guest at a sports party or neighborhood event, bring a hostess gift that doesn’t require any work (flowers, for example, will require that a vase be located). Instead, you might bring designer cocktail napkins from a retailer or museum shop, a box of gourmet pears, a bottle of liqueur, or a beautiful picture book. If there are young children, bring an appropriate toy and/or game.  Look through numerous and diverse gift catalogs for ideas.

After the meal, to get people up and moving around a little, suggest that everyone changes seats and talk with others.  Having a dessert buffet will encourage people to mingle. Another possibility is having one or two activities in mind if the evening needs a boost.  However, be sensitive to your guests when they are ready to leave.    Sending a note of gratitude is always a good idea and a welcome acknowledgment of a wonderful event, or time well spent. As the beloved humanitarian, musician, theologian, and physician Albert Schweitzer reminded us: “At times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”