When do you stop coloring your hair?

For me, it happened after I lost it all. Chemotherapy took my hair, my eyebrows, my lashes—and even confused my iPhone. (Yes, it refused to recognize my face until I filled in some brows with a pencil. Thanks, tech.)

But something unexpected happened when my hair grew back in—white. After everything my body had endured, I decided I was done with harsh chemicals. No more dye. No more root touch-ups. No more pretending.

We women color our hair for many reasons. Sometimes it’s self-expression. Sometimes it’s about matching changing skin tones. Often, it’s to sidestep the stigma of aging in a culture obsessed with youth. Just look at the U.S. Senate—female senators 41 to 81 all seem to have colored hair, while their male colleagues embrace the gray.

There’s no shame in coloring your hair. And no shame in letting it go gray, silver, or white. What matters is that you choose.

Me? I love the freedom of skipping the salon every six weeks. And I’ve learned to enjoy the perks—like when a kind young man on a train offers me his seat, or a grocery clerk insists on loading my bags. (Yes please, thank you very much.)

White hair may make me look older, but it also makes me feel wiser, more authentic, and more me.

So tell me: Have you stopped coloring your hair, or are you still team touch-up? What led to your decision?